


Soulless Not Heartless

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha!Sam, Alpha/Omega, F/M, Kink, Knotting, NSFW, Reader Insert, Rough Sex, Sex, Smut, Soulless!Sam, a/o, alpha/beta/omega, explicit - Freeform, omega!reader, trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 20:19:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5884138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Sam finds his omega when he doesn't have a soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The night was chilly, but that was to be expected for the middle of February. You pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders and shivered. The heating clicked and the radiator rumbled to life, and you breathed a sigh of relief. You’d never figured out the damn timer on the stupid thing, so it was hit and miss when it would come on. In the meantime, you had plenty of jumpers to keep you warm.

You lived in a pretty run down apartment block, and you hated it, but with your limited income, you didn’t exactly have much of a choice. It wasn’t easy to get a job, being what you were, and the complications that came with it, but you scraped by on part time hours at an office, which was mainly women. You only worked during daylight hours, and walked along busy routes to get to work, avoiding quiet places.

Being an Omega seriously sucked ass at times, but you couldn’t change your genetics, as much as you sometimes wished you could. Your mom had prepared you the best she could, but she was a Beta, and a single mother at that, so she hadn’t had much to go on. She’d been gone for five years now, leaving you on your own, with no other family to help you through. Friends were few and far between, but to be honest, you were quite happy with your quiet little life, revolving around Netflix.

A knock on the door startled you, and you sat up, pausing the movie you had been half watching, to look up at the door with a frown. No one ever knocked on your door, and it always panicked you when someone did. Slowly, you stood, pulling your blanket further around your shoulders to tip toe towards the door. You didn’t unhook the chain, but you slid the deadbolt across, opening the door as far as the security chain would allow.

Outside your apartment door, a freakishly tall man stood, dressed in a suit, a cold smile on his face that was probably meant to be reassuring. He held up a badge, and your eyes flicked to it, seeing he was from the FBI.

‘C-Can I help you?’ You asked timidly, your hands shaking. Your stomach was rolling – this man was a Alpha. And Alphas’, as a rule, made you _very_ nervous.

'Good evening, ma'am.’ His smile widened, but it didn’t dispel any of the coldness and you pushed down the urge to slam the door and flee. He was a member of the FBI – surely he couldn’t be dangerous? 'I’m Agent Simmons. Me and my partner are just asking around the building, concerning the murder in 601, two nights ago?’

'Oh. Johnny. Yeah.’ You’d heard about it from Mrs Ghamski down the corridor, the nice old lady who occasionally baked you cornbread and always invited you in for a cup of tea. 'I thought it was a suicide?’

'We’re just following up on a routine investigation.’

'I didn’t think FBI did that sort of thing.’

'It’s been slow lately.’ He affirmed, and you couldn’t help but feel like he was a little frustrated. You swallowed your nervousness down, looking past the hulking man to the rest of the corridor, seeing no one else.

'You said you had a partner?’ You asked, and he nodded.

'He’s just speaking to your neighbours. I won’t take more than a few moments of your time. Please?’

'Uh…okay. Just a minute.’ You shut the door, grabbing your pepper spray from the side and concealing it underneath your blanket, before pulling the security chain to the side and opening the door for the guy to come in, shutting it behind him. As he stepped into the low light of your apartment, you saw his features clearly, and almost gasped. He was seriously good looking – like, model good looking, like he’d just stepped out of a SAXX catalogue. He was _really_ tall, too, dwarfing you completely.

'So, did you know the victim?’

'V-victim? I thought…’

'Sorry.’ He smiled again, almost disarmingly, and you watched him carefully as he moved over towards your sofa. 'Would you like to take a seat?’

You followed him, keeping your distance, knowing he must have scented you by now. Alphas’ could sense Omegas a mile away, and you were wondering if he was gonna say anything about it. 'Do you think…someone hurt Johnny?’

'We don’t know, ma'am.’

'My name is Y/N.’ You said quietly. “Ma'am” was making you feel ridiculously old.

Agent Simmons smiled again, and you noticed how white his teeth were. He was distractedly attractive, and you shivered a little, despite the apartment warming slightly. 'You knew Johnny then?’

'I did.’ You affirmed, nodding. 'He was quiet. Didn’t do a lot. He was…he was an Omega.’ _Like me._

'Yes, we gathered that from the coroners report. We don’t think this had anything to do with that, though.’ He pulled out a notebook, starting to scribble things down as he watched you. 'Have you noticed anything strange in the building lately? Lights flickering, cold spots.’

'Well, it’s always cold in here.’ You joked. 'And the electrics are crappy. It’s a run down building. Stuff like that always happens.’

'Has it worsened at all?’

You thought for a moment, confused by how this had anything to do with Johnny’s death, but thinking back anyway. 'Come to think of it, the electrics were really bad a couple nights ago. I couldn’t even keep a stable internet connection to watch the new season of -’ You saw the look on his face and realised he didn’t care about your obsession with House. 'It was bad. Things were going on and off. I checked the switches but it didn’t seem to be those. Thought maybe the landlord hadn’t paid the bill again.’

'Right.’ Agent Simmons continued to scribble stuff down. 'Had you spoken to Johnny before he died? Did he seem…anxious?’

'I saw him the morning before.’ You remembered that Johnny had been how he always was. 'He was a nervous guy. I don’t blame him, really. It’s not exactly fun – being an Omega, that is.’

The agent looked up, his eyes connecting with yours. 'I guess so.’ His words were slow and particularly enunciated. 'Were you friends?’

'No one is really friends in this building.’ You sighed. 'We’re just all surviving in the same place. Johnny was a nice guy, but I think he’d had it rough. He lost his Alpha a long time ago, and he’d never been right since. That was all I knew about him. No family, same as me.’ You weren’t sure why you’d said that, but it slipped out nonetheless.

'That’s a shame.’ It didn’t seem to be a really sympathetic statement – he was only saying it to be polite. 'And there’s nothing else you could tell me?’

You shook your head. 'Sorry I can’t be of much use.’

Agent Simmons smiled again, and stood up. 'That’s okay. If we have any more questions, is it okay if we come back?’

'Yeah. I don’t really go anywhere. But I don’t see how I can help.’

'Everything helps, Y/N.’ He moved to the door, shoving his notebook back into his pocket. 'Thank you for your cooperation.’

You nodded dumbly, following him and replacing the security chain and deadbolt after he’d gone. With a heavy sigh, you put the pepper spray back in the basket on the sideboard and returned to your film.

*****

The sheets were tangled around your ankles, and your skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat as you tossed and turned in your bed. The threadbare mattress creaked underneath you as your body moved, desperate to gain some sort of release. A groan escaped you as you rolled over, your hot breath creating a cloud in the cold air of the apartment. You shivered, freezing but too hot, the agony sweeping through your veins. This heat had hit early, and it was more intense than it usually was.

A noise in the apartment made you snap your eyes open and you sat up, breathing heavily. The air dropped a few degrees and the radio on your bedside table went off, resetting to midnight from two in the blink of an eye. 'Hello?’ You whispered, voice thick with the arousal from your heat. 'Is there someone here?’

'Dirty Omega.’ The answering words were full of hate and anger, and you pulled the wrinkled covers up to your chest, breathing coming faster and heavier.

'W-who’s there?’ You looked around, seeing no one.

'Omegas should be wiped out. No good little breeding bitches. Only purpose is spreading your legs.’

You shuffled over to the side of the bed, eyes trying to seek out the owner of the voice as you reached for the tyre iron you kept under the bed. Slipping your legs over the side, you abandoned the sheets, standing clad only in the shorts and vest you wore to bed. 'Who the hell are you?’ You said, gritting your teeth, holding the tyre iron up, trying to summon some kind of courage inside. Your legs were shaky, and you were sweating profusely, your entire body thrumming.

'Wanna feel what an Omega should feel? I’ll split your skull, little bitch.’

He came out of nowhere, angry and bloodied, his hands outstretched. You screamed and blindly swung the tyre iron, your cries only growing louder as the weapon went straight through him and he exploded in a flash of light and ashes. You tripped, stumbling forward, racing for the door. The locks impeded you, and you heard whatever it was coming up behind you again, his hands making contact with your shoulder as you wrenched the door open and fell out into the hallway, screaming for help.

'Come here, bitch!’ Your assailant shouted, and you could feel tears falling down your cheeks as you ran through the corridor. Your first thought was to make it to Mrs Ghamski’s but she wouldn’t be awake. The lady slept like a log and wouldn’t be roused by the sound of your shouts.

'Help!’ You screamed, turning a corner and running smack bang into a solid chest, crying out and clutching at whoever it was. 'Please! Help me!’

'Whoa, whoa!’ You looked up, meeting a pair of green eyes. He looked past you, his hands on your upper arms, and your body instantly recognised the scent coming from him. Your every cell screamed “Alpha!” at you, and you backed away, dropping the tyre iron to the floor. 'What’s wrong, miss?’

'There was…there was a guy…but…I hit him and he exploded…then he came back…’ You were aware how crazy you sounded, your words coming between gulps of air and tears.

'Dean!’ Another voice, a familiar voice, made you turn. The thing following you was gone, and Agent Simmons was running towards you, concern crossing his face briefly. 'He’s gone. For now.’

'Who’s gone?’ You asked, your voice shrill. 'And why are you here? It’s two am.’

'Look, this is gonna sound a little…insane.’ The guy called Dean said, reaching out for you.

'Don’t!’ You cried out. 'Please, don’t. Look…I know you know, okay? You guys sense this stuff, but just don’t…touch me.’

'She’s in heat.’ Agent Simmons said, his voice thick as he spoke. 'Explains why the ghost is after her?’

'Wait – ghost?’ You asked, eyes wide. 'There’s no such -’ You thought back to the guy in your apartment, who’d exploded, and the things he’d been saying.

'Yes. Ghost.’ Dean affirmed. 'Sam checked in with you earlier because we knew you were an Omega. And this ghost has been targeting Omegas. It killed Johnny, and two others.’

You frowned, looking between them. 'You’re not FBI, are you?’ They both shook their heads. 'Okay. Look, I don’t…I don’t understand this. Omegas gets killed all the time. Why the hell would Alphas give a fuck?’

Dean looked taken aback but Sam didn’t seem to give a shit. 'Why wouldn’t we?’ Dean asked, frowning. 'Omegas are people. This thing is killing people.’ He sighed. 'Besides, it’s not just unclaimed Omegas it’s going after. We had to deal with a distraught Alpha who’d lost his mate to this thing. And that’s never good for anyone.’ You blinked, wondering if the emotion in his voice belied that he’d lost an Omega. Sam grunted, scowling at his brother.

'There aren’t any other Omegas in the building. This thing…if it’s picked you, it’s gonna keep coming for you.’

Your eyes were wide now. 'So I’m not safe?’

'Not until we find whatever is anchoring this thing and destroy it.’ Dean said, taking your arm. You pulled away, glaring at him. 'Sorry.’

'Look, we don’t have time for touchy feely. You could die. We’re here to stop that.’ Sam, or Agent Simmons, whatever his name was, grabbed your shoulder and something shot through your veins like fire, and you gasped, stumbling backwards. Sam didn’t seem unaffected by it either, and he let go of you abruptly. 'What the fuck…’ He shook his head, and you leant against the wall for support, breathing heavily, arousal sweeping through you like a freight train, wetness coating your thighs through the thin shorts. 'Christ.’ Sam swallowed, reaching out for you again.

'Sam, don’t!’ Dean ordered, pulling you away. 'Shit, man, I’ve seen that happen before.’

'Yeah, me too.’ Sam gulped, his eyes darting up, darkened with need. 'She’s _mine_ , Dean. She’s my fucking Omega.’

'Well, this is inconvenient.’

'Tell me about it.’

'I’m not…’ You struggled to breath, almost collapsing despite Dean’s hands holding you up. Every fibre of your being was pushing you towards Sam, and god help you, you wanted to jump him in this hallway. You wanted him. Badly. But you had never wanted an Alpha. 'I’m not your anything.’

'Tough luck, lady.’ Dean said. 'My brother touches you and you both react like that? It’s biology, sweetheart. No fighting it.’ He looked around. 'And we can’t stand out here all night. We need to get inside, and we need to deal with this spirit.’

'Her apartment.’ Sam said, moving forward. Dean held up his hand to his brother, and you watched as the scowl settled over his features. 'Don’t stand in my way, Dean.’

'We don’t have time for this, Sammy! We deal with the ghost first, then you can deal with…’ He gestured to you. 'Her.’

'I have a fucking name.’ You ground out, before your legs gave way and you fell hard against Dean. Sam was there in a second, pushing his brother away and sweeping you up into his arms. Dean tried to take you back, but only found himself pushed against the wall by the larger man.

'Don’t get in the way of this, Dean. We deal with the ghost. But you don’t touch her.’ Both men stared at each other for a moment, as you went slack in Sam’s grip, intensity frying your cells as you watched Dean relent. You knew he wouldn’t fight back – standing in the way of an Alpha and his Omega was a stupid idea. But you didn’t want to be Sam’s Omega. You’d only just met him, and he seemed like a cold, harsh man, with no emotion to speak of. He wasn’t your type – you preferred the sensitive and intelligent types, the ones who would watch Netflix with you and enjoy just…being. Sam was intense and terrifying.

The temperature in the corridor dropped again and both brothers looked around, before nodding in silent agreement and taking you to your apartment. Everything passed in a blur as Sam placed you on your couch, brushing back your hair from where it was stuck to your sweaty forehead. You heard the click of the door as Dean locked it, and shut your eyes, wishing for this to be over. You could barely move with the heat seizing you so firmly, and every time Sam touched you, you wanted to cry out, beg him for more. The room began to spin violently under the pressure of it, and you surrendered to darkness.

*****

'You have to go.’ Dean’s voice roused you, and you opened your eyes, blinking softly in the silence of your apartment. 'You can’t stay here alone with her, Sam.’

'I’ve got more control than that, Dean. And I can’t…I can’t leave here and leave you with her.’

'Why not? Seriously, dude, I’ve got no interest. Whatever these stupid biological things do, I’m not feeling it. She’s yours, not mine.’

'I don’t care.’ Sam’s voice was tight, and it sounded like he was grinding his teeth together. 'And we can’t leave her here alone – Forrester might come back.’

'Look, it’s two blocks away. It’s not gonna take long. Find the grave, dig up Forrester’s Omega and burn the bones.’

You swallowed and sat up slowly, drawing the attention of the two males in the room. 'Y/N.’ Sam said, his voice slightly breathy as he took you in. 'How are you feeling?’ Wow, for a second there, he sounded like he genuinely cared. You cleared your throat and wiped your face with your hand.

'I’m fine.’ Your throat was sore, and your entire body ached – the heat wasn’t over. And you knew it wouldn’t be until…oh, you didn’t want to go there. 'What are you talking about? Digging up graves?’

Dean nodded. 'The only way to kill a ghost is to destroy the object they are linked to. This guy – Forrester – he was an Alpha, who was murdered by a gang of Omegas, after he mistreated his own Omega. He died a violent death and his spirit didn’t move on. He killed his own Omega twenty years ago, and something has happened to draw him back here. He is what killed Johnny. He killed two others within three blocks of the cemetery, all Omegas.’ Sam took over then, standing as he explained.

'Forrester was cremated – normally if you salt and burn the bones, the spirit will move on and the killings will stop. But there was no body here. We figured out that he was lingering because he considered his Omega his possession. So he is tied to his Omegas remains, and his Omega was buried in a paupers grave two blocks over. One of us has to go and burn the bones, to stop the spirit.’

'And you’re arguing over who’s going to babysit me?’ You asked slowly and both guys nodded, having the decency to look a little guilty. Well, Dean did. Sam just glowered. 'You know I can look after myself right? I’m not some weak willed Omega who’s gonna cry over things. Just tell me what to do.’

'I’m not leaving you.’ Sam said firmly, his eyes locked on yours and a shiver ran through your body.

'Fine.’ You stood up, angrily moving further away from him and into your bedroom, slamming the door. You sighed and threw yourself onto your bed, looking up at the cracked ceiling. You hadn’t expected any of this to happen, and now it was, you were kinda angry. Alphas seemed to act like they were owed something from Omegas, and treated them like crap – it was widely known that most Omegas were treated little better than slaves and finding one that was loyal and kind was like winning the lottery. Sam didn’t seem like that type either.

You listened as the men in your apartment argued further, before one of them left. You hoped it was Sam, but somehow, the heat thrumming through your veins told you otherwise. The other brother seemed a lot nicer and more genuine than Sam, like he’d be a caring Alpha, one you wouldn’t mind being with. Both of them were handsome, so that wasn’t a problem, but it didn’t seem like Sam wanted you beyond anything more than what his natural urges were telling him.

With a sigh, you rolled over, pulling your sheets over your heated body. You shuddered, hating the desperate need that seemed to pulsate through every nerve ending, the slick that coated your thighs, and it was getting harder every moment not to beg for Sam to claim you and knot you, and relieve this ache that reverberated into your soul. You squeezed your thighs together, fisting your hands in the sheets.

'Y/N?’ The knock at your bedroom door was soft, and Sam’s voice even more so. You ignored him, and shut your eyes, willing him to go away before you threw the door open and mounted him like a prize fucking stallion. He sighed, and you heard it through the door. 'I’m just out here okay. If you need anything.’ He didn’t sound like he had before, and you relented a little, before his phone rang and you stiffened again. 'Dean? Yeah. Yeah, she’s fine. She’s still in her room. You’re there?’ A pause. 'And you found it.’ You listened intently. 'Yeah, just get it done, okay?’ Opening your eyes again, you rolled over to look at the closed door. 'Dean, we’re gonna be okay. I’m soulless, not heartless, okay?’

He ended the call, but even if he’d continued it, you weren’t sure you’d have listened. Sam was…soulless? How the hell did that work? You’d never put much faith in religion, but you believed in souls, and you weren’t sure it was possible to not have a soul. But something inside you wanted to know, and slowly, you pulled yourself from the bed, padding over to the door. Opening it, you found Sam sat in the corridor, leant up against the wall, his head bent over towards his knees. As you opened the door fully, he looked up, and for a second, he looked so sad and lost, that you felt something drop into your belly.

'You okay?’ You asked.

'I should be asking you that.’

'I heard you on the phone.’ You said quietly. 'How…how do you not have a soul?’

'It’s a long and very complicated story.’ He said, standing up and avoiding eye contact. 'Suffice to say, I left it somewhere.’

'Are you gonna get it back?’

Sam shrugged. 'We’re working on it.’ He didn’t seem to care either way, and both of you lapsed into silence. 'Are you feeling okay? With the, uh, heat?’

You nodded. 'I cope. I don’t like taking the suppressants, and it’s like, three days out of the month. I cope with it.’ You smiled, but it wasn’t how you were feeling. Mostly you just wanted to cry. 'It’s harder though. With you…close by.’

He sighed, looking away. 'I’m feeling it too, if it makes you feel better. Dean’s right though. We need to deal with the…’ He saw your face then, and frowned. 'What?’

'Ghost.’ You pointed behind him, just as the spirit moved and flung Sam to the side. He hit the opposite side of the corridor with a bang and slumped to the floor, shaking his head. Crying out, you backed into your room, looking for anything to use as a weapon.

'Bitch Omega. In heat. Smell of you.’ Forrester stalked towards you, his decaying face something that would give you nightmares for years to come, you were sure of it. Sam was rolling onto his front, but Forrester was upon you now, the smell of rotting flesh filling your nostrils, and you shut your eyes as he backed you into a wall, his hands sliding up around your throat. 'I want to feel your neck snap.’ His grip tightened and you felt the supply of oxygen to your lungs slowing. You pulled at his hands, but it had no affect, and your vision started to blur around the edges.

Then the weight was gone, and Sam was there, as the ghost of Forrester exploded into flames with a scream that lingered long after it had finished. Sam’s touch was on you, checking you over, soothing the rapidly forming bruises at your throat. 'God, fuck, Y/N, you okay? Fuck, I’m so sorry.’ He was swearing at every other word, but you couldn’t reply, too traumatised by your near death experience and the feel of Sam’s fingers on your skin. Fire was blazing through your core now, and the time for holding back was long past. You latched onto him, holding him tight, feeling his reaction to you. 'Y/N…’ He growled, his hands in your hair as he pulled you closer, his lips near your ear. 'I can’t…I can’t fight…’

'Don’t.’

The second that one word fell from your lips, Sam was kissing you, his mouth rough against yours as he pushed you against the wall. You cried out at his roughness, but every second of him touching you was making you just feel hotter, no matter if his fingers were leaving marks on your skin. He was marking you as his, that much was clear, and you couldn’t honestly give a shit anymore.

'Fuck, baby. I need to knot you.’ Sam was whispering against your mouth, his hands ripping at the vest you wore. You didn’t fight him, you didn’t want to fight him; you just wanted him everywhere and anywhere, claiming you as his own. Your mind was beyond reason, and focusing only on what you needed from him as an Alpha. His fingers ghosted over your bared breasts, before he lowered his head, sucking one hard nipple into his mouth. You arched into him, moaning loudly, standing stretched onto your tiptoes as he held you up. He didn’t linger long at your chest, pulling you away from the wall and throwing you onto the bed, approaching as he unbuckled his pants.

'Sam…’ You moaned, writhing naked on your bed, looking up as he stalked you like prey. Reaching out, he traced the line of your leg, dropping his pants and letting them pool at his ankles before kicking his boots off and stepping out of them. His shirt and t-shirt followed, leaving him gloriously naked in your crappy little apartment room.

There was nothing there for you as Sam pulled you to your feet, only you and him – no walls, no ceiling, just the two of you, Alpha and Omega, the urges within you becoming too intense to ignore. Sam’s hands clutched your shoulders, and you thought he might kiss you again, but he stopped, spinning you around. His hardened cock bounced against your lower back, and he pushed you forward, until your knees hit the bed. His hand squeezed your ass cheek and you ground back against him, feeling his cock within inches of your soaked pussy. His fingers moved down, tracing the outline of your core, and you cried out when he roughly thrust two fingers into your cunt, scissoring them and you rocked back onto them, fucking yourself as much as he was fucking you.

'I want you.’ You moaned, reached forward and stretching into the sheets, presenting yourself to him. Sam licked his lips and withdrew his fingers, pushing you further onto the bed. The mattress dipped under his weight as he moved behind you, rubbing the head of his cock against your exposed pussy, and you bit your bottom lip, waiting for him to take you. 'Please, Sam.’ You begged.

'I’m not gonna stop, Y/N.’ His tone held a hint of warning. 'I’m gonna knot you. I’m gonna claim you.’

'I know.’ You replied breathlessly. 'I want it.’

'Are you sure?’

'I’m yours, Sam.’ Those three words seemed to ignite the atmosphere between you, and you let out a drawn out groan as Sam sank into you, slowly, agonisingly. He didn’t move at first, allowing you to adjust to his considerable girth, stretching you more than you thought possible. You weren’t a virgin, no where near, but all of your experiences had been with Betas; you’d never been touched by an Alpha. You were kinda glad of that now.

'So fucking tight, Y/N.’ Sam’s hands circled your hips, pulling you onto him as he fucked you from behind, keeping his pace slow and hard. With every roll of his hips, he hit the right spots inside you, making you cry out, feeling like maybe he could break you if he fucked you any harder. 'Could die a happy man right here.’ He was slurring his words, and you were struggling to hold yourself up with your shaking arms as an orgasm rolled through you, making you clench down on his dick. Sam let out a grunt as you came on him, spasming hard. Your arms gave out and Sam’s hand slid down your back, pinning you to the mattress as he picked up his pace.

'Saaaam.’ His name dragged itself from your lips, and you felt like you were swimming in a sea of stars as Sam continued to pound you into the mattress, ignoring the squeaking of the old springs, or the bunching of the sheets underneath you. His hands trailed over your skin, leaving fingermarks wherever he touched, his pelvis slamming into your ass with a dizzying strength.

'I’m gonna…’ Sam didn’t finish, but he didn’t need to as you felt the base of his cock swelling inside you, and you knew he was gonna cum, and he was gonna knot you, and leave his mark. Terror seized you for a moment, thinking that he might just leave you here when he was done, but it was wiped from your mind as his fingers slid around your front, finding your clit and twisting it a little roughly, bringing you to orgasm again. He came as you tightened around his firmly swollen cock, flooding you with warmth. You gasped into the sheets as he rode out his orgasm on your body, his arms barely holding his weight off of you.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before he moved, taking you with him. He wasn’t able to pull away just yet, the thick knot of his cock lodged securely inside you, but his hands gently coaxed you onto your side so you could lay down. It was unexpected when his arms encircled your body, pulling you closer to him as he pulled the sheets up over you.

Just then, the apartment door opened, and Dean’s voice rang through. 'Sam! What the hell, man! I’ve been calling you for half an hour!’ His footsteps grew louder as he headed for the bedroom, and your eyes widened, worried what Dean would say, until Sam pulled the sheets further up to conceal your nudity. Dean appeared in the doorway, words dying on his lips as he took in the clothes strewn across the floor, and the sight of you and his brother, clearly naked in your bed. 'Shit, Sammy.’

'Shut up, Dean.’ Sam’s sleepy voice came from behind you. 'It’s all fine.’

'Jeez, dude. I thought you said you could control this.’

Sam raised his head a little, his grip on you tightening. 'I don’t care what I said. What’s happened has happened. We’ll deal with it in the morning.’

In the morning. You stiffened. You knew what that meant. He’d up and leave, abandon you. Sam didn’t want an Omega. Dean frowned, but didn’t say anything further, leaving you with Sam in the bedroom. Neither of you spoke, until Sam kissed the side of your neck.

'I know what you’re thinking, Y/N. I’m soulless. I shouldn’t care. But this thing? This isn’t to do with the soul.’ He sighed, and you relaxed a little. 'Like I said before, I’m not heartless. And I’m not going to abandon you.’ You nodded, but didn’t reply. 'We’ll figure this out.’ He assured you, holding you tightly.

Sleep claimed you before you could think any more.


	2. Soulful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Sam gets his soul back. What does this mean for the reader and him?

‘He’s gone, isn’t he?’

Your voice was soft as you sat on the bed at the run down old farm house, your arms wrapped around your knees. Dean leant against the door frame, his arms folded. You’d heard the screams a few minutes before, known exactly what was going down in the panic room downstairs. Of course it hadn’t worked. Now you would be left tied to an Alpha who couldn’t function. Death had warned he would be a dribbling mess, but the others had wanted it done.

It wasn’t like you knew the difference. Sam hadn’t had a soul, and he’d done things that would probably seem unthinkable to others, but to you, he was _your_ Sam. He was sometimes snappy and cold, but when it came to you and him, he was gentle when it mattered and caring, and he made sure you were safe. You never went with him on the hunt, mostly staying at Bobby’s. The old Beta enjoyed having someone around who liked cooking and cleaning, and you helped with research when it was needed. For the last two months, you’d become a fixture in the house that all three men appreciated. Even the strange angel, Castiel, appreciated your efforts.

But now they’d “fixed” him. Brought his soul back from the depths of hell, and put it back inside him. Would he be sane? Would he be your Sam? Or would he be a stranger?

'He’s out cold. We won’t know how he is until he wakes up.’

'What if…’

Dean shook his head. 'Don’t think like that. Whatever he’s like when he wakes up…I know my brother, Y/N. He wouldn’t stop feeling the way he does about you, okay?’

You turned away, unsure if you could believe him or not. Slowly, Dean turned, and his footsteps echoed down the hallway. All you could do now, was wait.

*****

Stretching in the morning sunlight filtering through your window, you rolled over, sighing at the other side of the bed. It was empty, and the sheets were tangled around your legs. You pushed them off deftly, sitting up and blinking against the bright light. It was round about then that you spotted him, slumped in a rickety old armchair opposite the bed, still in his rumpled shirt and jeans from the day before. His hair was messed up on one side, where his head rested against the palm of his hand. He snored softly, and you smiled, slipping your legs over the side of the bed. Padding over to him, you reached out, gently tapping his arm. With a graceful snort, he awoke, blinking in confusion, before seeing you before him.

'Y/N..’ He smiled.

'Sam?’ You were hesitant now, remembering exactly what had happened yesterday.

'It’s me.’ He affirmed, sitting up straight. 'I…I wasn’t sure if…’ He gestured to the bed and you looked back at it, taking a moment to catch on.

'You weren’t sure if I’d want you in bed with me?’ You blushed, moving back to sit on the side of the aforementioned piece of furniture. Sam was almost as red as you, as he scratched the back of his head nervously. 'You’re still the same person right?’

'Yeah, just got my morality back in the right place. I…I remember pieces. Dean didn’t really fill me in on much. Said we found you working a case and things…progressed.’ Your heart fell a little at the thought of him forgetting everything. He seemed to pick up on your concern. 'I didn’t forget everything. Most of what I remember is just you.’ You warmed at that, and Sam moved to sit next to you. 'I just need to, erm, take a little time? Things are still jumbled.’

'But you still…’ You couldn’t force the words out, the fear of him abandoning you too much to acknowledge.

'Yeah, of course, I’m not gonna turn my back on you. We belong, remember?’ He smiled and warmth blossomed in your chest at his expression. He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours, and you closed your eyes at the simple gesture. 'Just, give me some time. I gotta get used to all this.’

'Take as long as you need.’

*****

It had been two long weeks without Sam by your side. He’d been working so many cases with his brother, and taking the time he needed to get his head together, that you’d only seen him for a few hours here and there. Your mood, as a result, was suffering, and you’d taken to spending most of your time in your room. When it was approaching the end of the second week, a familiar twinge hit you.

Suppressants did nothing for you; you knew that from experience, and there was only so much Bobby could do with chicken noodle soup and aspirin. He tried, bless him, but it wasn’t enough. There was only one thing that would fix this, and that was Sam. Who happened to be three states away and not answering his phone.

Three days of intense agony followed, and you were hoping for the time to be up quickly so you could return to normal. But unlike before, once the third day had passed, you moved into a fourth. And a fifth. Your temperature rose, and you broke into fever before midnight on the fifth day. Bobby called a doctor. He couldn’t do anything.

Sam still wasn’t answering his phone.

'I’ve never seen a heat this bad.’ The doctor said, his voice quiet, but you could hear everything, despite the fact that the room was spinning like a ride at the fairground. Bobby grumbled something in return, but you couldn’t quite make it out. 'She needs her Alpha, Mr Singer. Without him, this fever could well be life threatening.’

You weren’t sure how many days it had been, when Bobby brought you a cool cloth and a drink. It had been a long time since you’d eaten, but he was trying to keep your fluids up, and reading to you. Words didn’t seem to make much sense any more. Nothing was touching the cramps.

'Baby, it’s okay, I’m here.’

Was he?

The world swam inside your vision and you fell asleep.

*****

Your mouth was as dry as the Sahara and you shivered as you slowly woke up, despite the warmth encasing you. Wiping at your eyes, you jumped a little when your covers moved, tightening around you. Looking up, you saw that it was strong arms holding you, and not your duvet, and Sam was stirring as he held you close.

'Sam?’

'I’m here, baby.’ He said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 'I’m so sorry.’

'How long was it?’

'About nine days. We had problems on the case. Couldn’t get in touch.’ He smirked a little. 'Damn near broke every speed limit to get back here when we finally touched base.’ The smile fell away and he caressed your face. 'Bobby said you almost died.’

'It was…’ You grimaced. The fever was gone, but the cramps remained. 'Worst heat I’ve ever had.’ His hand skimmed up your bare arm, leaving a trail of goose pimples in its wake. 'I’m glad you’re here.’

'Got a earful from Bobby. I’m so sorry I left.’ He pulled you closer, and you sighed in contentment. Sam had never been this way. He’d held you before, but there was something different here. He was warmer, more inviting. Maybe you’d gotten used to the coldness of Sam without his soul, the ease with which he did his job. That Sam would have taken care of your heat without a second thought. This Sam…this Sam was apologising, and clearly racked with guilt over what he’d had to do. 'I missed you.’ _That_ was definitely new. He’d never expressed emotion towards you, despite the bond. He’d never told you anything like that. 'I’m not leaving you behind again. Not risking this.’

'It’s only once a month.’ You replied, looking up to him. 'I can cope. I’ll just have to keep track.’

'You shouldn’t have to.’ Sam replied. 'You’re my Omega. I’m your Alpha. I should be taking care of you, not leaving you behind to deal with things on your own. How can I keep you safe otherwise?’

'I’m not that fragile, Sam.’ You replied, pushing away a little and he shook his head.

'I know you’re not fragile.’ He said, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. 'God knows, I definitely know that. But you’re still…I can’t…’ He sighed heavily. 'Jesus, Y/N. I love you. I can’t sit back and let you cope with things on your own. We’re a team.’

You blinked, surprised at his declaration. He’d never…but he was different now, wasn’t he? Without thinking, you lifted your chin, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. For a split second, you remained there, until he deepened the embrace, his touch featherlight on your skin as he pulled your vest off. You gasped as his fingers grazed your nipples, and he smiled, pulling away to remove his own shirt. Once topless, he pulled you close, his large hands covering your torso, warmth seeping into your skin.

He was so different, but still the same Sam. His touch was softer, his kisses warmer, and he clutched at you like a man starved of human contact. In all fairness, you were holding onto him just as tightly, and when he divested you of your shorts, you reciprocated in kind, until you were both naked, pressed against each other underneath the covers.

His lips traced a path down your neck, over the spot where he’d claimed you, and you shivered, feeling whatever remaining despair inside you dissipate. He cupped your sex as he suckled on one erect nipple, his thumb playing a circle over your swollen clit.

'Sam, I need you.’ You whispered, sweat breaking out on your forehead. Whilst the worst of your heat had subsided simply with his presence, your body still demanded completion.

'I know, baby.’ He replied, releasing your breast. 'I need you too. Just wanna make sure you’re wet enough for me. Don’t wanna hurt you.’ Another difference. Soulless Sam would make sure you were adequately prepared with minimal fuss, but mostly he would take what he needed and give you what you craved. He never hurt you, but he never intentionally showed care for you.

'I’m ready, please…’ You begged, and Sam nodded, pressing another kiss to your lips as he moved over you, his cock nudging at your entrance, and you arched up towards him, pleading words falling from your lips like a prayer. With one slow movement, he pushed inside you to the hilt, holding still for a moment. You held onto him like a lifeline, and he leant his forehead against yours, his breathing laboured as he savoured the feel of hot, wet heat enveloping him. 'Sam…’

He started to move, slowly, every thrust as drawn out as possible, the friction between the two of you escalating with every movement. You rose to meet each stroke, your hands holding him close. He held your hip with one hand, as the other snaked up to cup the back of your head, pulling you up to kiss you deeply. His tongue slipped inside your mouth, and you moaned into his complete embrace.

Your orgasm hit you from out of nowhere, and you clenched down around him, holding him tightly as you cried out, breaking the kiss in the process. He rode the wave of your pleasure, not stopping, his thrusts even and steady, hitting the deepest depths, and prolonging every sensation. Sweat rolled over your skin, mingling with his on the sheets.

'Y/N…’ Sam muttered, his hand tightening on your hip. You felt his body tense, his knot swelling, and you pulled him closer, needing every part of him. 'I love you.’ He whispered, falling over the precipice. You followed without hesitation, feeling his warmth spill into.

You could have lain there for centuries in his embrace, linked to him on the most intimate level. After a few moments, he shifted, keeping you flush against him, his cock buried deep inside you, his arms wrapping you in a tight hold as he pulled the covers over you. He didn’t speak, but he kissed your forehead before you settled yourself against his chest, his heart beating underneath your cheek. You didn’t feel the need to speak either, listening to his breathing and his pulse, a contented smile on your face.

When Sam had gone into that panic room, you felt like you would lose him forever. You were convinced of it.

Turned out, you had more of him than you’d had before.


End file.
